Posted on Jan 2nd, 2009
by 
Alice
My heart wishing for far less than I actually received (without ever having counted on) on the first day of this Ney Year already.... and then it´s considered unlucky = wishes voiced will not come true, so I can´t tell you.
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Posted on Jan 2nd, 2009
by Alice
...that I found my colledges´ payment plan to show online for registration this morning and that friends are willing to help me carry the monetary load so I can stay enrolled and really start learning as of this month (even if I didn´t make the scholarship here :)
...the new perspective that I thus now have .... to know that once more something was worth years of waiting and hoping .... and a very special man whom I hope to prove to bea worthy best friend to
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Posted on Jan 3rd, 2009
by Alice
The most recent thing I´m (currently/still into) learning isn´t a subject in college but of life: how to cope with giving up someone I love - to bring up the due respect for the fact that he loves another...
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Posted on Jan 6th, 2009
by Alice
...making-up with the man I love (for having had a very unfortunate day on the 2nd of January) so I can give him up with a clear conscience
...life = the fact that I would love to have another child after all...
...life = that my children have become responsible individuals which will soon allow me to follow more of a life of my own again
...life by having my dearest friends come to celebrate my upcoming birthday with me
...WANTING to face it all... for there will be many challenges this year and I´ve already cried out my eyes more than once within the past days.
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Posted on Jan 7th, 2009
by Alice
... looking at the blossoms of a bush standing amidst snow on my way to work
... looking at the river which flows like a lifeline between our office building and a major clinic on the other shore
... knowing that pople I meet in the hall may be on their way to the notary next door for someone having died (testament to be read)
... knowing that the studying going on in the compamy I work for and what is developed for ultrasound & MRI-use will help save lifes
... seeing the future in my kids
... all around me :)
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Posted on Jan 9th, 2009
by Alice
...question rather being: when do I not!? Where others are asked what they are thinking of and may answer "nothing", I don´t think I´ve ever had a second of my life when I wasn´t "thinking" or rather reflecting on and about all around me, the past or future...
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Posted on Jan 10th, 2009
by Alice
...being aware of life around me and that everyone else is (more or less) surviving it, too! - so why shouldn´t I?!
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Posted on Jan 11th, 2009
by Alice
...it´s all about comparison = learning to judge the value of the things in life...how would you know what´s good without having gotten to know the bad/negative (and of course the other way around!!!)?
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Posted on Jan 12th, 2009
by Alice
....I´d cal life/living a religion and all the forms of honouring, giving and receiving love it´s ways of worship...
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Posted on Jan 16th, 2009
by Alice
The man that I love is the counterpart that could do it, the "opposite" to me that could "balance" out that up-and-down of that see-saw called daily life ...
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Posted on Jan 17th, 2009
by Alice
...that a Dr. told me yesterday to forget about wanting any more children because the less than 5% chance wouldn´t be worth the money for any treatment it would take...
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Posted on Jan 18th, 2009
by Alice
...my heartbeat... energy flowing... feelings forming... longing to touch and embrace... noone being here to share this with... so I will give my teddy bear a hug :)
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Posted on Jan 19th, 2009
by Alice
...very respectfully! ..it makes me retreat - for seconds or days - fear forces me to rethink situations or analyze myself ... which is odd, for I am a very emotional being!
It´s always been so that I´m (outwardly) the calmest when situations excalate and especially when I see others afflicted by fear. No, I´ve never been able to figure out why, but it feels as though intuition just takes control... but I dont "flip-out" but act in rational thinking instead. Others have found this to be aggravating or have blamed me apathetic or unsympathetic for not showing emotion as they would expect... not realizing that my hand is holding theirs, that I´d be the last one to leave them and would rather take it all upon me than see them afraid....
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Posted on Jan 22nd, 2009
by Alice
...being loved - even just thinking of it...
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January 2009 
